Incidents 2: Glitch
by scribblemyname
Summary: They had all these awesome plans. Rogue was going to take control of her powers. Gambit was going to take control of his life. There was just this one small glitch. Romy
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Dedicated to the **ChamberlinofMusic** and sequel to _Fritz_. Please enjoy!

* * *

**Glitch**

**Chapter One**

**-**

So this is how everything started. Rogue got Cured and became a walking Cure with about as much control over it as she had over her skin. There was just this one small glitch in the whole thing that worked in her favor.

It was touch-based.

"So only one power activates at a time?" she asked Hank, wanting to be absolutely certain.

"Indubitably," was his _un_helpful reply. "However, I must emphasize that the selection process for which mutation will activate is quite randomized. Until we have done more analysis, it would still be prudent to only engage in physical contact under controlled circumstances."

Rogue looked at Logan. Logan looked at the Professor.

The Professor cleared his throat and asked, "Could you please clarify that."

Hank generally spoke at some level above _normal_ English, so merely sighed before trying again. "We do not know yet what is going to happen when you touch somebody, either absorption or suppression, so—"

"Don't touch?" Rogue drawled.

"Yes."

Rogue sighed. "Well, nothing else is new, so I best be getting. Homework, you know." She was now in her first year of college, a combination of study at Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters and correspondence courses. She hoisted her backpack and moved out of the medical bay.

Only to run smack dab into the most annoying Cajun on the face of the earth.

"Blast it, swamp rat!" He'd knocked her flat onto her bum and she glared at him, unwilling to accept his proffered hand. "I swear, you're stalking me," she muttered. He'd been showing up _everywhere_.

"Aww, chère." Gambit smirked down at her. "You wound me! I could think you didn't like me."

"I don't." Rogue picked herself up off the floor and brushed herself off.

He helped himself to her backpack before she caught him and grabbed her around the waist. "I'll walk you back to your room."

"Give that back!" She lunged for the backpack. And missed.

She winced, expecting impact with the hard floor, but she was drawn up short by a warm hand on her wrist. She growled at him.

He kept grinning that infuriating grin.

* * *

Remy just loved this girl's fire. Even if it was usually aimed at him with the thought of incinerating him alive with the nonmanifesting borrowed powers of the late Scott Summers. Actually, _especially_ if it was aimed at him.

But he wasn't at all masochistic. She wouldn't actually hurt him.

At least, he didn't think so.

Rogue yanked her wrist out of his grip. "Thank you," she said stiffly in that thick Southern accent he liked so well, "but I don't _need_ your help."

He chuckled. "Of course, ma chérie."

She glared at his sarcasm.

"Now, where's your room?" He was still holding her backpack hostage, and he swung it easily from one hand.

Rogue scowled at him and lunged for it again, a more restrained motion this time.

He sidestepped and started walking it up the stairs. "This way?"

"You good-for-nothing, troublesome, pesky,"—she stomped up the stairs after him—"skirt-chasing, pain-in-the-butt swamp rat!"

He waited for her at the top of the steps. "You done?"

She reached the top of the staircase, arms crossed over her chest, white streaks framing angry emerald eyes. She smiled. "Nope."

She jumped him.

"Dieu!"

He hadn't expected her sudden weight thrown at him at high velocity, with a sharp knee aimed straight for his stomach, and a bony elbow planted in his ribs, and an arm twisting into his while the other hand reached for the strap. They went rolling and then she pinned him squarely, using one of Logan's infamous holds.

"Not bad, chère," he said, grinning, once he could catch his breath.

She sniffed at him. "I'd quit while I was behind, Cajun."

Then she snagged her backpack, scrambled off him, and sashayed down the hall.

Remy laughed, watching the sway in her step—and hips. Not bad at all.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thanks to everyone for the warm welcome! Quick canonical note: I've shrunk both Kurt and Gambit to everyone else's age. Now, here goes:

**Chellerbelle** (I seem to have an obsession with her powers, don't I? :grins: And I just had too much fun with the tackle.), **coup fatal** (You make me so happy. You like it! You really like it! I'll be a good girl and keep up on it too.), **Lucida Lownes** (Thankies. I've updated _All's Fair_, so you should be able to read it without grimacing now. :grins: I really do _love_ constructive criticism. I write purely off research, not knowledge.), **A Rose in the Night** (Much longer than _Fritz_. And I know it took me forever, but it was worth the wait, non?), **CurrentlyIncognito** (It'll end happily too! But it's good advice, **everybody**. Read _Fritz _first. Slightly AU.), **starlight2twilight** (Thank you for forgiving me. I'm writing your stories. Promise. Promise, promise.), **RogueOnFire** (Oooh! You always have the best ideas. And touch, touch, touch will soon be very much in order. Yup. :nods emphatically: )

On with the story!

* * *

**Glitch**

**Chapter Two**

**-**

The phone rang in Remy's room. He was one of the few students with a personal line.

Piotr looked up interestedly as Remy continued to ignore it in favor of their card game.

"Aren't you going to answer that?" asked the gentle giant.

"Non." Remy viewed his cards impassively. "Raise ten."

"Why not?"

Piotr wasn't much of a multi-tasker and Remy resigned himself to explaining so they could get on with the game.

"It's fifty-fifty whether it's Belle or Julian," he said, "making those odds far too high for another death threat before noon. And if it _is_ Belladonna and I've ignored her fifteen times already, it's a hundred percent chance I'll get a death threat no matter which one is calling."

"Death threats?" Piotr looked alarmed and set down his cards, much to Remy's dismay. "Should we tell the Professor?"

Remy waved one hand dismissively. "Chalk it up to the dayjob. Let's just play cards already."

"But this could be serious," Piotr insisted, clearly out of the loop on what was and was not to be taken seriously once a man made plans to marry into a family of Assassins with a two out of four approval rating and a hefty temper from any of them.

Remy eyed Piotr skeptically. "If it's Julian, he's serious. If it's Belle, she ain't." He shrugged. "What else is new? Game?"

Piotr frowned but picked up his cards.

"The Hallelujah Chorus" played a refrain in Remy's head.

Kitty's head suddenly appeared _through_ the door. "Piotr? The Professor said he'd like to talk to you for a minute."

Remy heaved a loud sigh while Piotr excused himself politely and Kitty giggled. Remy scowled. He absolutely hated not finishing a game.

Then he cocked his head appraisingly. "Chaton."

"Oh no. I gotta go." She backed out with a warding gesture and took off after Piotr. "Don't you even think about it!" she called out behind her.

Remy sighed and crossed his arms to stare at his cards. Now what?

The phone rang—_again_.

He groaned.

But he still didn't pick it up.

* * *

Rogue yelled in sheer frustration at the seventeenth time the phone in the suite below hers started ringing.

"That drat boy needs to answer his phone!" She was _trying_ to do her homework. She was _trying_ to concentrate. And it just kept ringing and ringing and—

There it was _again_.

"That's it!" Rogue threw down her pen like a gauntlet and marched out of her room to give whatever boy occupied the ringing room a Mississippi-River-sized piece of her mind.

* * *

"Just answer the phone!" Rogue yelled for the fifth time through his bedoom door.

"Non!" Remy shouted back. "You don't even know who's on the other end!"

"Blast it, swamp rat!" She banged her fist on the door. "Turn off the ringer then!"

"Non!" He crossed his arms sullenly.

Good thing he was a Thief, he mused as she fiddled with the lockpick again. His door would have fallen to her efforts already if he hadn't made... enhancements.

The phone stopped ringing.

All other sounds ceased as they held their breath to see if it would last.

His cell phone rang.

Remy groaned.

Rogue yelled. "Pick up the phone!"

It was Belladonna. It had to be. And by now, he was so, so dead.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I always forget how well humor goes over on this site because I don't write it as often as everything else. You all are making this so fun! General warning: this particular story has _short_ chapters. That's just the way it goes.

**Chosen One** (Thanks for the comment on characterization! This particular portrayal and the AU elements were chosen by the incomparable **ChamberlinofMusic**, as _Fritz_ was written for her. And then, everyone wanted it to go on and one day, I just wrote more. :grins: This chapter is sort of my launchpad into the rest, so sorry it's not as forward motion all on its own.), **Laceylou76** (Bella and Julian ought to just make everything more interesting. I _love_ complicating things when possible. Potentially too much. :looks thoughtful: Hmm... Well, anyway, glad to get you laughing!), **AngelwithDirtyThoughts** (_Fritz_ was fun. I'm glad you liked. And plenty more of this one to come.), **Irual** (Ah, backstory. The key to writing backstory is only include it when you have to. Of course, I'm including quite a bit here. But I have to. It's necessary to the rest of the plot and this part too. And thanks for all the compliments!), **coup fatal** (I know it's short! I know! :bemoans: But that's just the way this fic comes. Short and sweet and funny. But I'll update more frequently than the longer chaptered fics. Good compromise?), **CurrentlyIncognito** (Remy managed to skate out of this one with minimal damage, but only because Belladonna's miles away [and he's charming, what can I say?] and he chose her mercies over Rogue's. Might have turned out much worse otherwise. :snickers: Oh, and no jinx. :winks: ), **Capt_Mackenzie** (Thank you! I'm having fun.), **ChamberlinofMusic** (Boy, do you nail Remy on the head. And this is why he always gets himself in trouble. Won't admit he's wrong. Doesn't particularly like facing up to the punishment. And he really _does_ like annoying people, what's with that? LOL), **S2T** (No worries. Logging in isn't always fun. And sorry to have written your personal pet peeve. Hope I've dutifully explained his reasoning below.), **Chellerbelle** (Annoying Rogue is always a bonus—within reason. Once she gets violent, he has a tendency to remember self-preservation. A smidge.), **Lucida Lownes** (Sorry it's short. This fic always is. Got that complaint on _Fritz_ too, but it's just the way of this tale. And glad it's fun. That's the idea.), **scott has a pole up his...** (Thank you much, much! Rogue was seriously considering swamp rat stew. :grins: )

Have fun. :winks:

* * *

**Glitch**

**Chapter Three**

**-**

Every once in a while, Remy found it supremely helpful to go over his current goals and remind himself of what would and would not advance them.

_1. Finish school._

This was completely and vitally necessary as his adoptive father, Jean-Luc, had sent him here for that sole purpose. Staying alive being a basic prerequisite, it behooved Remy to be circumspect with just whose calls he took. And while the caller ID had been reading Boudreaux mansion all day, if he turned off the ringer and missed a call from either Jean-Luc _or_ his Tante Mattie, he might as well order the casket and be done with it.

_2. Delay marriage into family with homocidal, insane future brother-in-law._

Another high priority. Marrying Belladonna came with attractive benefits, very attractive—besides the fact that on good days, they were friends as well as lovers. Mais Julian... Well, both of them had come to the mutual agreement to hate each other's guts and avoid at all costs being actually _related_. While dying young would certainly contribute to the cause, letting Belle sweet talk him around her little finger would not.

Nope. Shouldn't answer the phone.

_3. Win Rogue's affections._

He winced at this. While the goal had little personal benefit that anyone else would support—least of all, his family, he actually enjoyed the fiery southerner, whose companionship—and frankly, it was the dayjob—compared quite favorably with Belladonna's. Letting the phone continue to ring as a raging Rogue banged on his door did not bode well for his intentions.

Naturally, he went with goal three. (This is why his older brother, Henri, threw up his hands at him so often.)

"Âllo?"

"Finally!" declared a frustrated yell from outside his door _and_ a frustrated exclamation in his ear.

The simultaneity was unsettling.

"Uh...Belle?"

A stream of angry French made him wince.

"Désolè, ma chérie, mais tu frère..."

"So I should call your cell phone?" Belladonna demanded.

It would be a simple solution, but considering goal two, Remy hesitated to answer affirmative. "Maybe," he hedged. "Or we could set a time."

"D'accord," she agreed, considerably calmer. "When?"

And there went his plan to take control of his life back from the Guilds. And this wedding.

Remy scowled.

* * *

Finally.

Peace and quiet secured, Rogue stormed off to the haven of her room. Only when she opened the door, it didn't look like a haven. It looked like an ambush. Kitty, Kurt and _Jubilee_ of all people were sprawled across various pieces of furniture: her desk, her chair, her _bed_. She growled.

"Hey there!" Kitty bounced from her perch on the bed. "We've been waiting for you for like forever."

Kurt gave her a curious look. "We heard you yelling."

"Loudly," Jubilee added.

"What are you doing in here?" Rogue asked Jubilee bluntly. Tact wasn't known as her strong suit, especially after the whole dumping Bobby debacle.

Jubilee grinned from atop her desk. "Well, we all _know_ you've been in the med bay. I just want to know _why_."

Rogue rolled her eyes. Jubilee was a shameless—if generally harmless—gossip addict, but Rogue's life and mutation were not fodder for the mill. she held the door open and stood to the side. "With all due respect, out."

"Just a little, teensy bit of inf—"

"No," came the implacable reply.

Jubilee huffed but obeyed. Rogue shut the door.

Kitty leaned forward. "Well?"

"It's nothing important," Rogue said, trying to brush them off.

But Kurt snorted indignantly. "You expect us to believe discovering a way to turn your powers off is 'nothing,' leibling?"

"Oh hush." She plopped on the bed next to Kitty, who took to rubbing her shoulders soothingly. Kitty was actually remarkably good at that. "Hank just thinks it's currently as uncontrollable as the other and they're both _random_, which doesn't help things at all."

Put like that, it actually made Rogue feel a little despondent.

But Kitty immediately bubbled out, "Oh no. You're going to make the most of this 'cause I will _make _you." She turned Rogue's head and glared in her face to emphasize, drawing a giggle from Rogue. "You have the option of figuring out how to have _any_ _power you want_. Permanently. Without hurting anyone. Don't you get it?"

Rogue stared wide-eyed. "I hadn't thought about it like that."

Kurt grinned at her, tail lashing back and forth over his head. "We have."

"Really? Wh—" But she fell suddenly silent, thinking over the very thought. Any power. And her own would be off when she used them. "But I mean, Jimmy's the only one that's been passing out samples, if you know what I mean."

Kitty bounced up and down excitedly. "We can get more. I'm sure of it. Quick and painless."

Rogue giggled. Any power. Any power but her own.

"I like it."

* * *

"Oui, oui, right away," Remy reassured his angry fiance. "I promise I'll get you the schedule...Oui. I haven't forgotten to write. First letter went out this morning...I am _not_ lying." The idea! Belladonna was one of the few people that always knew when he was. "I'm not! Chère. The letter is in the mail." Another long pause. "Oui. Bonsoir." He closed his cell with a click and sighed. Loudly.

Piotr had returned and was waiting patiently with his cards. Remy was grateful it was Piotr and not one of the other boys teasing him for being so whipped.

Of course, none of _their_ girlfriends backed up their lectures with knives, guns, and poisons.

Remy sat forward again and glanced over his own hand. "Now. Where were we?"


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: A little more meat this chapter. Hope you like.

**papercreations** (I think he has... Might have to tell a little more about his history _there_. :grins: And who would blame Remy for being whipped by someone like that? :snickers: Though she claims she's only housebroke him, not tamed him. [note to self: borrow that line]), **sexynerd** (Thank you! I _love_ playing with powers.), **Lucky's Girl** (I'm not sure if I can feel bad for Remy yet. He mostly brings it on himself. LOL But yeah, he tends to go for the worst goals on his personal time. :grins: ), **Sweetcornbee** (Friendships are fun, but it was really **ChamberlinofMusic**'s idea. She told me how the relationships were and I just ran with it. but I'm having fun, and I'm glad you are too!), **courtneykutie** (Thank you and more is here!), **ColorCoated** (Glad it hit your ticklebone! Humor is so tough for me half the time. :hint to muse: ), **D'Avoir un Coeur** (Well, I feel grateful you did stop in and review this then. I don't consider it one of my masterpieces, but it is a lot of fun to write. I get to pick on everyone and just play around for a bit. Very relaxing. And definitely no perfection here! I do not find these characters perfect. They've got quirks, issues, and personality "glitches," but that's what makes them so very fun to write. And I'm glad you caught all the little stuff in his goals evaluations. Sometimes, I have to admit, I watch anxiously for my favorite inclusions to show up in reviews. And they don't. And I wonder if I didn't really include it strong enough. And then you come along and put my little heart to rest. So thanks! I loved your review. [still trying to guess who you were, though.]),

**coup fatal** (No. The only daily fic I've got is the drabbles. My muse just doesn't work like **Chellerbelle**'s. Mine's bouncy and excited and jumping head over heels in here, then coming back and diving into something else. :shrugs: What can I do? I'll write as often as I can though. And I've definitely picked up the pace again.), **scott has a pole up his...** (Poor Remy! But he's got plans for escape! [We'll see how well they go. :rolls eyes:] And I'll keep that idea in mind. It'd be fun to have the girls meet and gang up on him. :snickers: I like that.), **CurrentlyIncognito** (I don't think he's entirely nuts, just creatively intelligent. LOL I'm just obsessed with powers, period.), **Chellerbelle** (probably a good thing [for Remy] that Rogue _doesn't_ know. She's got enough ammo as it is. And don't worry. I will follow-up on their plots. And Remy trying to recruit Kitty for thieving too.), **Laceylou76** (Blame the friendships on **ChamberlinofMusic**, but I do like how they turn out. I always think Bobby's the dick, not Kitty. She was caught in the middle. And Kurt was just too fun. I'm hoping I get the Remy/Piotr thing going pretty well. I think it's got awesome friendship potential, esp. when Rogue doesn't _want_ Remy as her friend.), **AngelwithDirtyThoughts** (I know they'd scare me! And this is my _most_ different Remy I write at all. Cuter, funnier, less the whole, complex character he is. It's just too _fun!_), **Lucida Lownes** (Thank you! I liked that line too. And of course, he won't marry Belle!...I think.)

Enjoy the chapter!

* * *

**Glitch**

**Chapter Four**

**-**

It was time to take control of her life, her mutation, her powers. Rogue repeated this mantra to herself mentally several times. She was in control. This was her time.

Right.

She glared down at the self-help book in her hands, then launched it toward the door. However, instead of hearing a resounding—and satisfying—thump, she heard a sharp THWACK! and cringed at the sight of Logan's bewildered expression and the book falling to the floor from where she'd beaned him in the head.

"Rogue? What are you doing?"

"What are _you_ doing?" she demanded. "I didn't hear you _knock_, jiggle the handle, _nothing_! What if I hadn't been decent?"

Logan gave her an odd look, but she just crossed her arms and huffed. Slowly, he stooped to pick up the book, then raised both eyebrows at the cover.

"'Powerful Words for Powerful People?'" He eyed her askance.

"It was a gift," Rogue bit out, absolutely _not_ about to tell him that it had come in a package along with two hot romance novels signed rather cheerfully _by burning_ with Pyro's name. She shrugged. "It's dumb."

"Ah." Logan set it on the edge of her desk and stepped a bit further away from it. "Well, just wanted to let you know we've got a couple volunteers for you to test your powers on."

"I'm not touching Kurt!" She had a good idea her friend would probably be open to the experience of having his life sucked out of him, but that didn't mean _she_ was interested in suddenly turning blue and fuzzy and growing a tail, _provided_ her new powers didn't kick in and simply modify his anatomy into something more...common.

Logan chuckled, catching the thought. "Nah, kid. Actually, we've got Piotr and that new kid."

Rogue stared at him in horror. "_Remy_?"

"We politely turned down Kitty, though she offered." Another chuckle. "Multiple times."

"Wait. The _swamp rat_?" Rogue persisted.

He gave her another funny look. "Didn't know you had a pet name for him."

"I don't! It's just..." She stopped. Just what? She shook her head. "He's a pain." Then she shook her head more emphatically. "I don't want him in my head."

"Well, sorry, kid," Logan said with a shrug, "but the Professor and Hank are already up for it. But if he gives you any trouble, I'll be happy to lay down some ground rules." His wicked grin told her he was more likely to lay Remy out on the ground, _then_ give the rules.

Rogue scowled. "I'd rather do it myself."

"I don't doubt that, kid." Logan looked her over proudly. "Not a bit."

* * *

Remy was laid out flat on his back on his bed, still on the phone after forty-five minutes of listening to his father's lecture. He tried counting to a hundred to help him get through. In Spanish. Since he already knew French, Nihongo, Cantonese, German, Russian, and Italian, he hadn't been left with a lot of options for his foreign language cred.

_Uno, dos, tres, quat—_

"Of course, I'm listening, Père. You want me to behave and not give the teachers any trouble. Which I'm not."

Of course, he wasn't. What no one knew, couldn't hurt them, n'est ce pas?

_—ro, cinco, seis, siet—_

"Oui, she called. I answered."

After twenty-five calls, but who's counting?

_—e, ocho, nueve, diez, once, doce, tre—_

"Sent Tante Mattie a big letter yesterday. And one for Mercy, before she asks."

What was it with girls and letters anyhow?

_—ce, catorce, quince—_

"Non, non. I had nothing to do with it."

Remy certainly hadn't gotten himself involved with blowing up that shed down the road. He _had_ heard about some ambitious youngsters, including Jubilee and Hellion, and knew they were trying to see if using certain gifts in tandem could be explosive—which he wholeheartedly approved of—but he hadn't been involved at all. Not even a little bit.

Okay, so he had stated the amount of C4 necessary to actually blow said shed to kingdom come, but he hadn't yet known why they wanted to know, so he had plausible deniability on his side.

_—dieciseis, diecisiete, dieciocho, diecinueve—_

"Non! I wouldn't prank call Julian!" Now Belladonna might, but did Remy really look like he was about to go and get an Assassin and his fiancé in trouble? He didn't have a death wish. "I wouldn't! And I didn't!"

Someone knocked on his door.

Finally!

"Père. I gotta go. It's for school. Non, I'm not making that up!" Remy groaned. Sometimes his reputation was a pain. "Oui, oui, I'll call you back. Bye!"

Click.

He breathed a sigh of relief and hit the door. After all, he had a date with his chère.

Hank's cheerful blue face met him on the other side. "Come, my most courageous of comrades! We have scientific Everests to ascend!"

"Uh...oui." Remy didn't have much choice though as one very heavy arm swung around his shoulders a tad too familiarly, knocking all the air out of his lungs.

"This way, my boy!"

* * *

Rogue sat on one of the medical beds, arms crossed, glaring at the person sitting across from her. Stupid, stupid swamp rat, getting the Professor on his side, making friends and small talk with the big, blue doctor, keeping Kitty giggling and nearly swooning over him. Rogue's glower darkened.

Logan just chuckled at her.

"Hank, I'm really not sure—" She never had a chance.

"All right!" he exclaimed exuberantly. "All the monitors are operational and we are ready for this auspicious occasion."

Kitty rolled her eyes at Rogue, who giggled in response. Then scowled. She did _not_ want to absorb Remy.

"Really, Hank, I don't—"

"Ah!" He waved Piotr in. "I was wondering when you would appear before us! Come in."

Piotr came politely, giving Rogue a small wave, and sat.

Rogue opened her mouth to talk and promptly shut it when Hank came forward with another monitor. "I am _not_ sticking that in my mouth," she mumbled through half-closed lips.

"Nonsense," Hank said. "I must measure your alkalinity."

Remy gave her a cheeky grin, no doubt knowing just what she hadn't managed to say yet.

"Open up."

She shook her head, glaring.

"Just get on with it, please," Logan muttered.

"Ah, well." Hank gave up with a shrug. "Remy, please take her hand."

"It's what I'm here for, mon ami." He leaned forward to take Rogue's hand.

Despite all her squirming, Remy was always a bit of an operator and he managed to grasp her hand with his for just a moment.

She gasped, then glared at him.

* * *

Remy's head was spinning or the room was—at about seventy miles an hour.

"Dieu!" She packed quite a punch.

"You no-good, thieving..." The epitaphs just rolled off her tongue for quite a few more minutes, but he couldn't really make them out through the ringing in his ears and the blurry vision.

Finally, he managed to make out a pair of red on black eyes staring at him from the most belle face he'd seen in a while.

"Love the eyes, chère," he slurred.

Rogue shrieked with rage.

He was pretty sure he was going to pass out. He tried to hold on, but then blackness took him.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Hope the story's still going a direction everyone likes. This one is _completely_ unplanned, and I like how it continues to surprise me.

**Lucky's Girl** (I love Logan. :grins: I'm glad you're enjoying the humor. I got to throw in a little more Logan/Remy stuff this chapter too.), **ColorCoated** (Remy on the phone is just too fun to write. He's got such a different thought process going on under the words. I love to play with it.), **courtneykutie** (sorry for the wait, but I have _waaaaaaaaay_ too many fics going. :sighs: ), **sexynerd** (You're sweet! Thanks.), **Laceylou76** (You totally nail his conversation style on the head. He creates something different with his words than what's going on under and it's funny when you see the two. And yeah, he definitely went back with goal, but I think I'm going to have fun with this new voice in her head. And friendship, to be entirely honest, isn't quite on the menu.),

**CurrentlyIncognito** (I'm the same way. Pity, but jealous. Rogue has to put up with mental Remy, who is a _lot_ less subtle.), **scott has a pole up his... **(Thank you! All my stories will continue unless noted otherwise. :grins: ), **Lucida Lownes** (I tried to answer your question and that's my favorite part of this next chapter actually! Keep asking questions! And I had way too much fun with the book.), **A Rose in the Night** (Your image is so perfect: "Remy just swaing, looking like he had drank a billion and one drinks, slurring his speech." :groans with laughter: Wish I had said it like that. And can you believe I've never seen _Origins_?), **Chellerbelle** (Queen of Romy humor: You have made my day! The Pyro book was actually inspired by _you_, but it is funny when you think about it that he thought she needed self-help. :snickers: And the whole "involvement" in exploding shed is quite debatable. :grins: Thanks for the review. You're awesome.), **AngelwithDirtyThoughts** (I should liken Hank to a bell. [What a crazy visual. :grins:] But just _had_ to include the eyes. :grins: )

Enjoy the chapter!

* * *

**Glitch**

**Chapter Five**

**-**

Kitty poked one finger against Remy's inert form. "I think he's out for the count," she said matter-of-factly.

"You think?" Rogue retorted.

Hank furrowed his brows.

"Awful fast," Logan said dryly.

"My exact conclusions, esteemed friend," Hank replied. Then he went scrounging around on the medical tray.

"If you even _think_ about poking one more thing into me," Rogue threatened, but she didn't get to finish. Hank, seeing his opening, popped the pH monitor under her tongue and left her spluttering in anger.

"Please desist in your struggles," Hank admonished cheerfully. "It will be mere moments before I am able to compile the data resulting from this most fruitful enterprise."

Rogue glared at him, arms crossed, mouth closed around the hated paddle.

Kitty tried very hard not to giggle and Logan pointed the most unsympathetic grin in her direction.

When she was finally allowed to remove the thing, she glared at Hank again. "You meddling opportunist!"

"On the contrary," Hank began with a flourish, one eye and hand still on his clipboard of burgeoning notes, "I have been requested by your most astute person to assist you in the understanding and development of your full capabilities. In such circumstances, you have already entrusted me with the task of executing all necessary procedures to bring about this worthy goal."

She stared blankly.

Kitty leaned over and whispered in her ear. "So what was Remy thinking anyway?"

Rogue blushed dark red and glared at her friend.

Kitty wrinkled up her nose in confusion.

Logan interjected. "How soon before you get the results, Hank?"

Hank frowned, eyes on the notes. "I believe that twenty-four hours will be sufficient to extrapolate on the evidence. This was a rather successful enterprise, and we may be able to move ahead with theorizing on how best to determine which one of your powers will manifest."

Rogue, Logan, Kitty, _and_ Piotr stared blankly.

Hank sighed longsufferingly. "Come back tomorrow."

"Oh," they said in chorus.

* * *

Remy woke with a blazing headache with a big, blue, furry face about three inches away from his. Beast. He blinked. A large, disgustingly cheerful and enthusiastic Beast.

He groaned.

"You are awake, my good comrade," Hank stated—going against all the obvious signs of nonfunctionality right in front of him, as far as Remy was concerned. "Please tell me, what exactly was your experience when her epidermis first contacted yours?"

The ceiling was still shaking. He could barely hear over the pounding in his head.

"How 'bout I get back to you on that one, non?" Remy winced at the pain of speaking. "You feel like dimming the lights?"

Hank hummed thoughtfully. "Perhaps you can instead describe your current symptoms?"

"Spinning. Lights." Remy squinted up at Hank. "_Lights_."

Mercifully, the lights went dim. Remy sighed in bliss—until he noticed the quiet sounds of wheels approaching. Dieu, could it get any worse?

"Hank, let him rest for a few moments," Xavier said quietly. And then that gentle mental touch requesting admittance. "This would be a purely physical scan of your brain's reaction to her," Xavier said.

Purely physical. Remy fumed. He undergoes medical—_medical!_—nightmares to assist Rogue, with absolutely no gratitude and now they wanted to put him under a telepath too?

"It is part of the process," Hank pointed out. "The results of the monitors are not as complete without a brain scan."

If Remy didn't feel like roadkill, he'd just skip out from underneath them in the dim room, but of course, he did so he couldn't. He crossed his own arms.

"How 'bout not?"

Logan chuckled.

Wait! Monsieur Claws was still here?

"I'd hate to think you were backing out now?" Logan said wryly.

Remy started praying then.

* * *

The _nerve_ of him! Rogue fumed as she paced back and forth in her bedroom, trying desperately to tamp down on all the naughty images running through her head, the thoughts of how pretty she was, how much he wanted to kiss her, couldn't hurt _that_ bad, non?, how he _admired_ her assets and even her temper!

Rogue huffed and collapsed across her bed. How could she win with a guy that _liked_ being laid out in the middle of the floor with her looming threateningly over him?

"Masochist," she muttered.

_Oh, chère, you have _no_ idea._ The chuckle inside her turned her stomach inside out.

"Shut up!"

Another low chuckle. _But this is fun._

Rogue growled. "_I_ ain't having fun, you swamp rat!"

_Somebody ought to teach you how, then,_ he replied then, nonplussed.

Another growl.

Another chuckle.

A girl phased through the door and pounced on her.

Rogue groaned and buried her face in her pillow. "Go away, Kit," she protested feebly, arm trying to shove back her misguided girlfriend.

"Resistance is futile," Kitty intoned, then proceeded to yank the pillow away from Rogue so her face went splat on the spread. "_What_ was Remy thinking? I just _got_ to know."

"Please, just please go away."

_You know, you could just tell her_. More definitely x-rated images.

"My eyes! My virgin eyes!" Rogue bemoaned.

Kitty blinked. "You know, this voices thing is just too weird."

Another chuckle.

"Shut up!"


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: As usual right now, not certain about how the chapter turned out. Feel like I'm finding my groove again. Any questions or thoughts welcome.

**XSuicuneX** (I don't think that's sad at all! I _understand_. And I'm not sad. :grins: Actually, I'm having fun confusing anyone else I can. :cackles gleefully:), **Lucida Lownes** (It's a safe guess with hormonal guy having a crush. :giggles: Not sure how much play I'm going to get out of it, but psyche-Remy is just always fun to me!), **courtneykutie** (Poor Rogue indeed! I enjoy heaping her up with troubles. :cackles wickedly:), **Chellerbelle** (Remy's psyche is always one of my favorites. :grins: ), **CurrentlyIncognito** (I agree. Remy is also in a bit of a predicament. :sighs: Hope the continuation pleases.), **A Rose in the Night** (Remy's notoriously too interested in such things. :sighs: But he's a guy. Oh well.), **Laceylou76** (Two scholars! And take away the requirement for Hank to explain himself? Then where would my poor readers be? Hmm... But it could be fun to write anyway... Well, glad you're enjoying everything. It's a little tougher to break out the muses's humor bone, so when it works, it's a relief.), **AngelwithDirtyThoughts** (Naturally. :grins: I do feel for Rogue. She doesn't fantasize _that_ much. Least not in this story anyway. Probably won't ever watch XO. Don't really do much TV or anything anymore.)

Thanks, everyone! Please enjoy.

* * *

**Glitch**

**Chapter Six**

* * *

It was only after a long, dark, warning glare from Logan in the background of Hank's frightening—though Remy was fairly certain it was _supposed_ to be reassuring—speech on the ethics and generally trustworthiness of the Professor with other people's _minds_, and after a _very_ long speech from Xavier himself on what areas of the mind he would limit himself to in his evaluation, that Remy grudgingly agreed to the mindscan.

And really, it was those big, shiny claws and wicked grin behind the oblivious Hank and Xavier that did it.

So it wasn't really Remy's fault if the Professor was more than a little startled at the profane thoughts running through Remy's head in French when he entered. Of course not. It was Logan's.

"Do try to...compose your thoughts a little, Remy," the Professor said mildly.

Remy crossed his arms and stared upward. The room had finally stopped spinning around him, but he wasn't about to compromise a real good glare by stumbling around like a drunk fool for getting up.

Hank muttered to himself while jotting down notes from all his equipment. Logan examined his claws. He certainly wasn't looking for any weak points though. Remy scowled. The Professor had closed his eyes and was frowning slightly.

"Something wrong?" Remy asked lightly.

"You have a unique way of organizing your thoughts." The Professor opened his eyes and reached out for a clipboard from Hank. "This seemed largely undisturbed from Rogue's absorption."

Remy looked at him oddly. "Organizing my thoughts?"

_As I'm not a professional thief, I doubt I would be able to break the security on your private mental space._The Professor's voice echoed _inside_ of his head, making Remy shout and nearly jump right off the bed. _Perhaps you should be less paranoid._

Remy glared at the Professor.

Hank and Logan looked at him oddly.

"Is your wellbeing uncompromised?" Hank asked, concerned.

"I'm fine," Remy ground out.

Xavier merely looked highly amused.

* * *

"Rogue!" Kitty shook her shoulder mercilessly. "Stop ignoring me!"

"Go away," Rogue pouted. It just wasn't fair. She had to be submitted to several thoroughly uncomfortable monitors that Hank (and she) could really do without, be manipulated into absorbing that... _that..._

_Hottie?_

_Idtiot swamp rat!_ She glared into her pillow.

_Chère. Y' wound me. _

She snorted indignantly. Remy may have been intelligent, but it was an evil, conniving intelligence that was scheming to drive her insane. Because _after_ absorbing him and all his terrible thoughts toward herself (and she was _not_ flattered by him fantasizing about her at all—_Tell yourself anything, chère._), she was stuck with an inescapable, excessively interested Katherine Pryde trying to pry out all the details of _his_ perverted mind from her.

Nope. Not fair at all.

"Rogue!" Kitty whined.

Rogue groaned and rolled over to throw her arms up in supplication to the ceiling. "Please! Spare me!"

BAMPH!

Both Rogue and Kitty immediately started hacking and coughing at the rather inescapable smell of sulphur and brimstone. An enthusiastic furry blue face emerged from the black cloud of smoke, and Kurt asked loudly, "So what happened?" His tail twitched back and forth excitedly.

Kitty coughed again. "I don't know." Cough. Cough. Glare at Rogue. Cough. "And _she_ won't tell me!"

"What?" He turned to Rogue, who threw back her head and groaned.

"If this is all the help I get from on high, I want a refund!" she shouted.

Kitty's eyes went round as saucers. "Oh, boy," she muttered.

Kurt's eyes went round too, then lit up with a holy fervor. "Rogue, that isn't how prayers work. Gott is not some magician who..."

How could she have forgotten? Never, never get Kurt wound up on a spiritual topic. Rogue covered her face with her pillow and groaned.

It just wasn't fair.

* * *

"I believe I have enough data to begin my analyses," Hank began, mouth still open in speech.

"Merci!" Remy bolted from the bed, darted past the startled Wolverine, and made good his escape, closing the door behind him.

Logan looked at Hank. Hank looked at the Professor.

Professor Xavier laughed.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: As usual right now, not certain about how the chapter turned out. This one might be even worse than usual. :sighs: Feel like I'm finding my groove again. Any questions or thoughts welcome.

**XSuicuneX** (I don't think that's sad at all! I _understand_. And I'm not sad. :grins: Actually, I'm having fun confusing anyone else I can. :cackles gleefully:), **Lucida Lownes** (It's a safe guess with hormonal guy having a crush. :giggles: Not sure how much play I'm going to get out of it, but psyche-Remy is just always fun to me!), **courtneykutie** (Poor Rogue indeed! I enjoy heaping her up with troubles. :cackles wickedly:), **Chellerbelle** (Remy's psyche is always one of my favorites. :grins: ), **CurrentlyIncognito** (I agree. Remy is also in a bit of a predicament. :sighs: Hope the continuation pleases.), **A Rose in the Night** (Remy's notoriously too interested in such things. :sighs: But he's a guy. Oh well.),

**Laceylou76** (Two scholars! And take away the requirement for Hank to explain himself? Then where would my poor readers be? Hmm... But it could be fun to write anyway... Well, glad you're enjoying everything. It's a little tougher to break out the muses's humor bone, so when it works, it's a relief.), **Pavlovas** (Well, thank you, sweetie! I always freak out over characterization, especially since this story sort of mashes up Evolution with the movieverse. I'm glad you're enjoying it. I promise I'll keep writing. It just might be a bit between updates.) **AngelwithDirtyThoughts** (Naturally. :grins: I do feel for Rogue. She doesn't fantasize _that_ much. Least not in this story anyway. Probably won't ever watch XO. Don't really do much TV or anything anymore.), **Saint of the Sinners** (Glad you could join us!)

Thanks, everyone! Please enjoy.

* * *

**Glitch**

**Chapter Seven**

* * *

She'd been saved by the dinner bell and a quick promise to Kurt that she knew prayer was a much, much, _much_ more complicated thing than put in an order and get out an answer and then promptly scooted out the door as fast as she could hightail it.

"Wait for me, Rogue!" Kitty huffed along behind her.

And of course, she'd run smack dab—_again_—into the most annoying Cajun on the planet, then shriek when Kitty ran into her from behind with a whoomph and end up sandwiched between the two of them on the ground.

Rogue groaned. "Kitty get off me!"

"Just can't resist me," Remy said with a small laugh. Was that his _arms_ around her waist?

"Kitty, off!" Rogue tried to push down on either side of him, but ended up with both hands on his chest.

Kitty scrabbled to get off of them. "Sorry."

Finally, the three had unentangled themselves.

"Any time, chérie," Remy said agreeably.

Rogue glared at him. "I'm sure. C'mon, Kit, let's go."

"Um...Isn't that a little impol—" The rest of her words were cut off sharply as Rogue yanked her on down the hallway towards the lunch room.

Remy chuckled behind them.

* * *

By the time Rogue made it down to the dinner table, she was a walking storm cloud of immense proportions. Kitty skittered over to the other girls, like Jubilee and Theresa, while Kurt neatly ported over to a boys' table for "guy time"—"You mean to save your scrawny hide," Kitty muttered. Remy watched the spectacle with raised eyebrows and a bit of a smirk. It seemed he wasn't the only one ruffling the Rogue's feathers today.

But Remy had other ideas. He managed to whisk Piotr away from a deeply suspicious and protesting Kurt on the grounds that he was teaching Piotr cards. A perfectly honest statement. You'd think the blue elf would believe him, especially with Piotr agreeing that it was all above board, instead of giving him the German evil eye. Smart elf, Remy admitted freely to himself.

Playing cards in a friendly setting was kind of like getting your hair done. All sorts of information could be gleaned during the process.

"So how long you been friends with the Chaton?" he asked while shuffling. A good warm-up question that spread a faint blush across the Russian giant's face. Remy could peg a crush a mile away.

Piotr picked up his first card and frowned at it. "We've all been friends since I arrived here. Katya was one of the first to welcome me."

Remy nodded to himself and in acknowledgement. He turned that over in his head as he dealt out, then examined his own hand.

Friendship was something hard to maintain in the Guild. When famille became a duty, relationships tended to sour. And competition, while healthy in the working environment, didn't tend to _stay_ in the working environment. Loyalty was paramount; friendship, not so much.

He sighed. "Raise twenty." He pushed a handful of chips into the pile.

Piotr's frown only deepened. "How does this work exactly?"

Remy went over the betting rules again. Patience only worked in his favor if he wanted a decent playing partner. "What about Rogue? Why is she so uptight?"

Piotr looked genuinely surprised. "She has to always be careful with her strength. Just as I must measure mine."

And that was no answer at all.

"_All _mutants got to be careful when they're learning," he replied, somewhat testily. No one ever gave _him_ any compassion and patience and leniency when he could explode a friend on sight. "You live with it, practice, get _over_ it. I don't get it."

"Perhaps..." Piotr hesitated. "Perhaps you should ask Rogue."

Remy rolled his eyes. Like Rogue would ever want to give him a straight answer. For all they got off on a decent foot that first day in the medical bay, she seemed to take personal offense to being flirted with. Which seeing as she once _had_ a boyfriend made absolutely no sense at all.

"I'm not sure I can help you," Piotr added.

Remy drew his first card. "Story of my life, mon ami."

* * *

It would just figure Remy was a connoisseur of food. Rogue scowled at the umpteenth comment from the voice in her head.

"Whoa, Rogue! Take it easy." Kitty eyed her up with some concern, but Rogue didn't really notice.

She had other fish to fry.

_Shut. Up._ She narrowed her eyes, but the girls at her table could clearly see she wasn't looking at them.

At least, they rather hoped not with the way her eyes had taken on an unholy gleam.

"Rogue..." Jubilee started slowly.

Theresa worriedly waved at her to be quiet. Kitty chewed on her lower lip.

_Mais..._

_Swamp rat, I do _not _want to hear it. I _like _spaghetti. I like _Storm's _spaghetti._

_Spaghetti, oui._ A rather dubious expression followed by a shudder she could barely suppress from her own shoulders. _Mais this ain't spaghetti._

Rogue growled. _Just shut up! This is my head and my body and I'll eat whatever I please!_

_Never said you couldn't,_ he purred.

"Rogue!"

She blinked, startled, and found herself staring dazedly into Kitty's worried brown eyes about an inch from her own. Clearly, her friend had phased, as she was literally standing in the middle of the table.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine." Rogue picked up her fork, then yelped at the burning heat that spread through her fingers. She dropped the silver with a clatter. It was glowing pink.

"Duck!" One of the girls yelled.

Perhaps not quite quickly enough...

* * *

Logan realized something was wrong about half a moment before the trouble and about half a minute too late. He lifted his head from the engine of his favorite car and sniffed something..._burning?_

BOOM!

He abandoned his wrench and launched himself toward the door and in the direction of the large dining hall. What could have caused that explosion? Even while his instincts roared to deal with the attack, his mind logically concluded it very well could be a student accident gone catastrophic.

But he didn't expect to see the entire student body standing around a smoking table and a smoking Kitty—who had thankfully had the presence of mind to phase the thing before it blew—by a very sheepish looking Rogue with...

Red and black eyes.

Logan growled.

"Sorry?" Rogue grimaced in embarrassment.

"I'm going to kill him." Logan changed course to go track down that sneaking, slimy, dangerous Cajun and dispatch him back to the swamp from which he came.

Kitty snorted. "Yeah, sure, everybody. I'm just fine, thanks for asking." Little smoke curls still rose from her tattered shirt and ashy hair.

Rogue burst out laughing.


End file.
